Ugh.

My drive into work today was a haze. I'm exhausted and as much as everybody is tired of hearing it I might say it a couple more times because I can and it's true.

I have always thought of myself as strong. I've been through a lot and even though my choices and decisions have been the ones to get me to the event, I am about as unlucky as it gets.  I don't mind being there for people and I'm not one to burn a bridge just because somebody has done me wrong. Maybe it's my own fault but sometimes it works out to my benefit because (especially me) you never know when you're going to need somebody. 

It's hard being the rock in everbodies life. I'm great at it, I listen well, I offer what I hope is helpful advice and I will be there whenever I can. The hard part is people taking it for granted. I take on a lot for the people I love so that they can be happy and hopefully I can lighten their burden a little. It makes me happy that I can do this for them and especially if they are going through a rough time I know that it's needed. But every once in a while I deserve a bad day, a sad day, or a mad day. Some times I want somebody to come up to me and tell me it's going to be ok, push their worries and conflicts to the side and let my emotions and difficulties be the only ones on the table for five minutes. Hug me, let me shed a few tears and not try and compete with how bad of a day they're having. I don't want to be the center of attention all the time, hell I don't even want to be it once a week, but when I do need it, I want the favor to be returned. Let me babble and cry and make no sense and get it all out. Then after my five minutes of fame I will be done and continue on. Please?

Ramble, blah, hiss,

Jess