Monday, December 29, 2014

Monday can bite me!

Monday after a wonderful 4 day holiday with my loving family is the devils work I tell ya! Who makes these things? Work sucks.

Christmas has left our house and I will be finding pine needles for the next 2 months I'm sure. Everyone made out like bandits and we all have new things to do which is extremely convenient since NC wants to piss buckets for the next month.

Can we get to the Rocky Mountains soon please?  I want to hike and fish and smell the sweet crisp air when it snows. I need to be around nice, normal people. I want muddy trucks and horse trailers in the parking lot.  Just thinking about home grown beef makes me drool.  Please hurry up. 

Coffee, blanket, book, Gilmore and a snuggly puppy stat!



Monday, December 8, 2014

I hate your elf

This whole "Elf on the Shelf" thing has been around for a couple years but just finally got brought up in my house last week. E mentioned something the beginning of the week and I shrugged it off. Friday after I picked her up she went into the whole "So and so and so and so and so and so have an elf in their house when do I get mine?" Mother of the year award? I told her never and my reasoning was "Only the kids that have been extra naughty and need the extra supervision get an elf, you've been good and Santa doesn't need to keep that close of an eye on you." Sorry not sorry to any parents that have to hear that they have naughty kids because my daughter tells your child that they're extra naughty. 

I will not have a freaking creepy little elf sitting in my house "watching" my kid. Santa is magical, Santa is the one that keeps track of good and bad, elves are for making toys and scooping Rudolph's poop.  Did I survive without an elf? Yes and now E will too. 

One of my favorite lines from a Christmas movie is from The Santa Claus, "Seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing." Santa, elves, reindeer are all magical and mysterious and fun, kids get to see elves how they want to see them, they get to think that reindeer talk or don't and Santa can look like however they want. Let their imagination work. I know there are a bazillion Christmas movies out, all depicting a different story, but I'm letting mine believe the one that she wants. 

So, call me the Grinch or Scrooge but I will not have an elf in my house.  We will watch a thousand Christmas movies, we will leave cookies out for Santa and leave the lights on on the tree so he can find us in the night, we may even leave some carrots for the reindeer but I will not have a creepy toy elf shit chocolate chips on my counter, throw flour on the floor, shave the dog or go zip lining across my living room. Why should I have a naughty elf in my house when my child is supposed to be good? Durrrr.......


Merry Christmas from the blogger with a 'tude.