Monday, April 23, 2012

2 hrs and it's over.

Monday is always the most dreaded day of the week. Nobody wants to wake up. We all drag getting ready for work. You throw on the most comfortable clothing you can. You make time for a quad shot of coffee and grab an extra bottle of Tylenol. When your key unlocks the office door you let out a deep breath and sit heavy in your chair. The phone rings for the first time of the day and all you can think is "here we go again". You trudge through the first half until lunch where you debate drinking but settle for a normal lunch instead. The second half of the day is a fog, you're now back in the swing of things but it's like a droning underwater feeling. 1700 can't come soon enough and when it does you run out to your car jump in and lock the doors so nobody can get you back out. Relief. You have survived.
Another that kinda Monday for me. I stalked the mailman again today and 3 Superman letters arrived! I apparently need to have oreos and frosting on hand when he gets home ;-) One day closer and one day stronger and another check on the calendar.  My friends probably think I'm crazy for talking about him all the time, the ladies in the office probably give me off looks when they see me tear up or smile randomly at my computer screen, because how funny or sad could a Progressive quote really be? It's a lesson for me. They said it would be hard and it is. The miles are hard. The missing him is hard. The no communication sucks. Loving him? Now that's the easy part. I swore I would never date, love or marry a military man. Now that I am, I couldn't be more happier anywhere else. I get to count my year in the months spent with him and I get to make 3 days of happiness into 1 because I making every day count is all that counts. I don't sleep, get hugs or kisses or calls, but I do get him. That is what's worth it.

In E related news. She snaps, she winks, she has a boyfriend and her undies have to match her outfit. Ponytails are no longer acceptable and "Ugh mom really?" is her favorite phrase. She's in love with 4 wheelers and dirt bikes and going fast. She's a mini me. I can't get over the deja vu when she dances in kitchen, cries over the littlest scratch and can't wear certain socks because they feel funny. I've got to be the luckiest woman on the planet to be able to call this wonderful little girl my daughter.

As sucky as Monday was, I'm very very thankful.

What are you thankful for today?



Wednesday, April 18, 2012

100 Things that make me happy.

1. Ellie and everything about her.
2. Superman
3. I love yous
4. Family
5. Sunshine
6. Rain
7. Monster cookies (no nuts!)
8. Milkshakes
9. Being barefoot
10. Clean sheets
11. Bleach smelling kitchen and bathroom
12. Opening new mascara
13. Fresh haircuts
14. Seeing others happy
15. Making others happy
16. Cold pillows
17. Hot showers
18. New nails
19. Funky necklaces
20. Sapphires.
21. My bff
22. Office mom
23. Blunt card
24. Cute babies (I'm gonna be mean but some babies are not cute).
25. Ice in my water
26. Smiling randomly over something that happened long ago.
27. Meeting new people
28. Fresh air
29. Cute heels
30. Tank tops
31. Captain and Cokes
32. Old pictures
33. Honest answers
34. Cupcakes
35. Pedicures
36. Hand massages
37. Fresh hi lights
38. Diet Dr. Pepper
39. Pasta smothered in cheese
40. Cheese
41. My phone, I'm slightly obsessed.
42. Pentel R.S.V.P. pens, preferably in blue.
43. Running
44. Flowers
45. Coffee
46. Friends from afar
47. Goldfish crackers...they are the snack that smiles back!
48. Post-it notes in pretty colors
49. Old pictures
50. Fast Internet
51. The smell of a new book
52. Caramel in my chocolate
53. Dark Chocolate
54. Clean smelling candles
55. Regular paste toothpaste
56. The burn after kettlebell
57. How my ass looks after said kettlebell burning
58. Good clients
59. Blue
60. Sports movies
61. Anything Julia Roberts
62. Weekend get aways
63. The color black on vehicles
64. Mini pigs
65. The smell of rain over fresh cut alfalfa
66. Local brews
67. Chandeliers
68. Romantic snow
69. Kissing in the rain
70. Mountain streams that freeze your feet instantly even when it's 90 out.
71. Little black dresses
72. Cardigans
73. Swiffer dusters
74. Pigs in rain boots
75. Curled hair
76. Hand sanitizer
77. Sweet songs
78. Great moms
79. Super dads
80. Animal kisses
81. Jimmy Johns
82. Frozen grapes
83. Love quotes
84. Pinterest
85. Weddings
86. Men with tats and muscles
87. Nesties
88. Chunky Monkey Mommas
89. Plane rides
90. Paychecks
91. Old churches
92. Dewey grass
93. Dance moms
94. Knowing there is beer in the fridge even if I don't intend on drinking it.
95. Stretching
96. Countdowns
97. Karma
98. Hugs
99. Pretty eyes
100. December 5th.



Thursday, April 12, 2012

About as personal as I have ever been on here.

Up until a week ago I can not remember the last time I sat down and took a pen to paper and wrote an old fashioned letter.  Thank you United States Army for bringing back the good old days. Within the past week I have never felt more free or alive after writing to Superman every night. Even days when I have nothing to say really or I haven't received a letter I sit down to write. Sometimes a couple times a day. It's definitely not the same as typing something out on the computer, I get too distracted by fb and pinterest in the background :-) 

I got 3 Superman letters today! Some days I get none and then I love days like today when multiples come in. I of course couldn't wait and had to read them on lunch and I wrote back right away to answer a couple questions he had asked. I reread them when I got home from work (call me crazy but I tend to reread them when I need a pick me up) and realized I had missed a very important question he had asked me. I'm not usually a publicly personal person and a lot of people are in the dark about Superman, his whereabouts and our current situation. I like to keep things quiet for the most part. The people that matter the most know. So anyways tonight I decided after rereading my letter before throwing it in an envelope that I kind of inspired myself and hopefully I could do the same to somebody else. So please enjoy a very personal piece of my life. And feel honored you will be reading it before the recipient.

" So while reading your letters when I got home from work I realized I didn't answer a very important question. You asked me, "Am I doing the right thing?". Yes you are, very much so. Why? Because it's what you want, its a dream of yours. You finally got the chance to do something you wanted for you. It wasn't a decision for me, the boys, friends or family. You did it because plain and simple you wanted to. There is nothing wrong with that at all. It's actually very inspiring. Look at all I gave up. Architectural engineering, vet school and CPA. Dreams of bettering myself that I let go and will probably never go for. I made decisions and I'm happy because they led me here and to you.

You get to be happy being a bad ass like you wanted. You don't have to give up me or anything else. I will support and follow you wherever you decide to go. You did what was right for you and I honor and respect you more than I could ever express. There is nothing strong about leaving yourself out of life so that everybody else can be happy. When you are happy for you, then everybody else will feed off that energy and be happy too :-) I would never in a million years ask you to go back to being a mechanic. You hated it. When I first met you and up until the day you left, every time you talked about SF you got a glimmer in your eye. Like a kid does on Christmas morning or the way a mom looks at her kid on it's first day of school. Unbridled, full on, straight from the heart happy. It gives you a sense of accomplishment and when you write that you are the toughest one I can see you smiling a little. Everybody deserves that self worth.

For me, I gave up careers to be the mom I am. I get the same glimmer every time she says she loves me, hugs me or calls me her best friend. I am ok with following behind her picking up dirty socks, crayons and fruit snack wrappers. I am proud of myself and amazed at my strength.

See, it doesn't matter how we get there, but that one day we wake up and recognize ourselves as a worth to someone...."me". So as your future wife, soul mate, and best friend; my answer is yes."

So one week down and 13 to go. Hopefully all of you find your self worth. Find the thing that makes you the happiest. Superman has completed my happiness, but if it wasn't for E I wouldn't be in the position to accept and cherish love.

Good night and tomorrow is Friday!


P.S. I need creative ideas for putting all our letters together when he gets home! Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The 4th day

Or 3rd, however you want to look at it.

I opened a new tube of toothpaste this morning. I love me some new toothpaste. It's a good way to start a day and super fresh paste is amazing.

I'm in a really weird mood today. Beyond happy, apprehensive, ecstatic, and slightly depressed. Hello! Welcome to the wonderful world of being a girl! I really think a "me" day will fix it. I feel guilty having E stay with my parents a night or two a month, even though I know I need to keep my sanity too. It's not like she's a hard or trouble child but it's nice to wake up when I want to, shower without having to open a granola bar and stop to make lunch in the middle of a de-clutter kick. Not feel bad about taking her to the gym on a weekend during our time, which I feel bad about taking her to 3 nights a week as is. So paycheck be damned I will be taking a day soon.

90s music blaring in the office and we are naming a robin that has decided to construct it's nest right outside our window.  Ahhh the joys of having happy nice people in the office :-)

Another day down and another to enjoy!


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Lets start another one!

Happy 2nd week of April! If I countdown weeks instead of days the number isn't as big and doesn't make it seem as bad, so here we go for another 25 weeks.

I watched Coach Carter again this weekend. I stayed up until 1am to do so Saturday night (I'm old that's SUPER late). I love this movie more than I love baby fishes. My favorite quote of the movie:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Yesterday was a ton of fun with E. I love holidays with little kids. Their smiles and joy make a holiday fun.

While staying up late Saturday and then being out at my rents on Sunday (their place clears my mind) I got to thinking about relationship type stuff. After being through all that I have and watching and being there for a couple friends, I realize I have quit being a judger, you can say I have grown up a bit. I always had rules for relationships and judged anyone that went against them.  Life is entirely too short and as humans we make mistakes, even when it comes to how we feel. My new life motto is: Whatever makes you happy. If you want to run off to a foreign country for 3 months, do so. If you want to get married on a whim to a guy you've known for 3 days in Vegas, do so. Personally would I do so? Vegas, No, but a 3 month adventure does sound kinda fun. It's all about enjoying every second of every day.



Sunday, April 1, 2012

Sunday observations.

Disney Junior is my new fav. Not because I enjoy endless Oso, Mickey, and Bubble Guppies, but because I can successfully clean for 30 min without being interrupted.

Measure cabinets before going to Target for plastic bins you are hoping will fit in said cabinet.

Vacuuming can and will get annoying when you have done it 3 times in 48 hrs.

My pectoral muscles (please read as musk-uls) are beyond sore. I am not looking forward to kb tomorrow. I think I'll kick box tonight in efforts to limber me up a bit.

Now that I'm waiting on a phone call every second of ever day it is possible to hyperventilate over not being able to find your phone.

After planning on going to the park today and not getting there due to errands and having a super lazy child (believe me this only happens twice a year I'm very grateful for it today) we didn't make it. It did pop a wonderful little diddy into my head randomly though...Have you ever tried to get a child to stop playing at a park? Whether its to go potty, eat, or the worst....leave, it's absolutely the hardest thing on the planet. Really it's like trying to have a conversation with your significant other while you're completely nude. It's impossible. They are far too distracted by swings or boobs and want to hear nothing you are saying and plan on doing their own thing anyways. 



P.S. We dyed eggs today! I love holidays with kids!