Wednesday, August 31, 2011

"Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength." Betty Friedan

Most mornings are the same around here; same hair, same time, same path to work.

After dropping E off at school a couple days ago, I drove past something that made me smile.

A lady in her 60s riding her bike, long grey hair, a hot pink bike helmet and the icing on the cake...tassels on her handle bars. I haven't had tassels on my bike since I was 7 and now Im highly jealous of this older woman and her tassels. She isn't afraid of being young at heart, Im sure people think she's nutso for having tassels but to me it shows that she is still puddle jumping, cartoon watching, bubble blowing fun that we all need to be.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Your deductible doesn't apply.

Once again a genius called into work. Oh and isn't this one a doozy. 

It's 4:30 on a Thursday that's bat shit crazy, I am sitting at my desk praying that for the last 15 minutes of my day nobody calls and nobody comes in when coworker B walks up to my desk with a file, trying not to cry she is laughing so hard. I read the note that is causing all the glorious tears.

Please don't quote me but it went a little something like this:

"Client had bear tear door off vehicle, $200 worth of damage, $500 deductible applies. Client wanted to know if he shot bear if the deductible would cover the fines."

The answer if anybody was wondering is "no", better yet a "are you fucking crazy you dillhole your vehicle insurance will not cover your stupidity, please jump off the face of the earth".

I am still laughing about it and was crying alongside B after reading that fun little ditty.

This is something that we deal with everyday. Like Buckshot :-) Yes somebody named their child Buckshot.  People that choose these types of names for their children should plain and simple not be having children.

That my good friends is why we should start happy hour at work, only making it last from 1pm until close.

I am now off to bleach my bathroom.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

"Boys pee funny...

...Because they don't sit like us girls do." Yes that was this morning's E-ism. Oh the joy of brilliance I call my daughter. She does have a fairly good point though, I mean girls are always getting laughed at for not being able to stand to pee, but doesn't everybody have to sit to poop? So since everybody has to sit to do one thing why does it make us the weirdos that we sit to do both? I think they are weird with their penises and their standing pees and stuff. Proud mom moment :-)

Another awesome little E-diddy from the ride to daycare this morning (apparently she's in a feisty mood today), "Mom I need you to work so I can take all of your money". Yes, sweetheart, you do take all of my money. If you don't have a kid and are planning on getting one anytime soon, borrow somebodies expenses for their child, for even one month. Make sure they are giving you the month with all of the field trips, dance outfits, birthday parties and doctor bills though so you get the full effect. I love the booger to death and back and would do anything to make her happy, but geez she's a money eater!

Things have been rough lately, but I plan on getting heavily Captain'd tonight while Booger is hanging with her father.  Judge away fellow comrades!