Thursday, February 27, 2014

A whole lotta nothing

It's National Strawberry day. Yummo! Go get yo'self some strawberries and enjoy because they are healthy and delicious and if you're lucky they are BOGO right now at my local grocery.

I hate dry lips. HATE. There is nothing worse than crunchy lips, well for today anyways. Vaseline Lip Therapy by day and Bag Balm by night.

Have ya'll seen these? WTF? I wouldn't even let my daughter wear them and usually stuff like this is better on children. Please stop.

Why are shoes mandatory? Hook me up with living in a tiki hut on the beach with nothing but swim wear and ponytailed hair all day and night. I do need running water though....



Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Terrorist Tuesday

While everyone is bitching about all the nonsense regarding everything football ads, coaches speeches and players actions I would like you to take a moment of silence for this very dear soul.

Greater the crotchety old bastard flamingo

Greater was 83 when he passed last Friday. He survived the end of the Great Depression and lived through World War II residing at a zoo in Australia. I'm going with crotchety old bastard because the average lifespan of a flamingo is 20-30 years, he said fuck you statistics and pushed on, even after a reported incident with "youths" a couple years ago. I do not know if they were human 10 year olds being shitheads or if they were 2yr old flamingos being asses either way he kicked them to the curb and lived on.

So today all of you bitching about Superbowl ads and morning commutes, you are the terrorist.

Good day.


Monday, February 3, 2014

It's a typical Monday

Usually I am the hater of Tuesdays and tomorrow will probably be no different. Today, however, I am joining the rest of the world and hating on Monday. Reasons?

My hair dryer is shorting out. I only buy the $40 Target dryers so it's not a huge splurge and they usually last for a couple years but still, hate.

I straightened my hair. My hair is longer than I have had it in over 3 years and it's driving me crazy plus my roots are awful so I keep it up. This usually wouldn't be such an issue but humidity is 90% and it's 65 degrees which means in about 5 minutes I'm going to look like I just stuck my finger in the light socket.

My beloved phone is committing suicide. It keeps randomly turning off and and last night decided to not turn on after 7 pm. ANARCHY!

Large DD will pull me through and fingers crossed my clients aren't bat shit crazy. Also, I want to know how to become a puppy bowl ref, Animal Planet please pick me!