Thursday, April 12, 2012

About as personal as I have ever been on here.

Up until a week ago I can not remember the last time I sat down and took a pen to paper and wrote an old fashioned letter.  Thank you United States Army for bringing back the good old days. Within the past week I have never felt more free or alive after writing to Superman every night. Even days when I have nothing to say really or I haven't received a letter I sit down to write. Sometimes a couple times a day. It's definitely not the same as typing something out on the computer, I get too distracted by fb and pinterest in the background :-) 

I got 3 Superman letters today! Some days I get none and then I love days like today when multiples come in. I of course couldn't wait and had to read them on lunch and I wrote back right away to answer a couple questions he had asked. I reread them when I got home from work (call me crazy but I tend to reread them when I need a pick me up) and realized I had missed a very important question he had asked me. I'm not usually a publicly personal person and a lot of people are in the dark about Superman, his whereabouts and our current situation. I like to keep things quiet for the most part. The people that matter the most know. So anyways tonight I decided after rereading my letter before throwing it in an envelope that I kind of inspired myself and hopefully I could do the same to somebody else. So please enjoy a very personal piece of my life. And feel honored you will be reading it before the recipient.

" So while reading your letters when I got home from work I realized I didn't answer a very important question. You asked me, "Am I doing the right thing?". Yes you are, very much so. Why? Because it's what you want, its a dream of yours. You finally got the chance to do something you wanted for you. It wasn't a decision for me, the boys, friends or family. You did it because plain and simple you wanted to. There is nothing wrong with that at all. It's actually very inspiring. Look at all I gave up. Architectural engineering, vet school and CPA. Dreams of bettering myself that I let go and will probably never go for. I made decisions and I'm happy because they led me here and to you.

You get to be happy being a bad ass like you wanted. You don't have to give up me or anything else. I will support and follow you wherever you decide to go. You did what was right for you and I honor and respect you more than I could ever express. There is nothing strong about leaving yourself out of life so that everybody else can be happy. When you are happy for you, then everybody else will feed off that energy and be happy too :-) I would never in a million years ask you to go back to being a mechanic. You hated it. When I first met you and up until the day you left, every time you talked about SF you got a glimmer in your eye. Like a kid does on Christmas morning or the way a mom looks at her kid on it's first day of school. Unbridled, full on, straight from the heart happy. It gives you a sense of accomplishment and when you write that you are the toughest one I can see you smiling a little. Everybody deserves that self worth.

For me, I gave up careers to be the mom I am. I get the same glimmer every time she says she loves me, hugs me or calls me her best friend. I am ok with following behind her picking up dirty socks, crayons and fruit snack wrappers. I am proud of myself and amazed at my strength.

See, it doesn't matter how we get there, but that one day we wake up and recognize ourselves as a worth to someone...."me". So as your future wife, soul mate, and best friend; my answer is yes."

So one week down and 13 to go. Hopefully all of you find your self worth. Find the thing that makes you the happiest. Superman has completed my happiness, but if it wasn't for E I wouldn't be in the position to accept and cherish love.

Good night and tomorrow is Friday!


P.S. I need creative ideas for putting all our letters together when he gets home! Any help would be greatly appreciated!

1 comment:

Tell me what you're thinking!